


For the Right Reasons, I do

by JayBarou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fake Marriage, M/M, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 00:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15545595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayBarou/pseuds/JayBarou
Summary: "You shave that beard of yours and we could repeat that time we had to get your hammer back.” Loki huffed.Thor stopped pacing.Loki looked for a second intrigued and at Thor’s look, appalled.“No, Thor. I won’t. Don’t make me.”Thor only grinned.





	For the Right Reasons, I do

“STARK!”

“What!? What did I do now!”

It was not a promising start when the god of thunder made your walls rattle first thing in the morning.

“You know what you did.”

“Mothers everywhere will sue you for using their phrase.”

Honestly? Yes, he knew what he had done. It was Thor who didn’t know at all what he was doing. He went to Thor with his friendliest face. Damn it all, but he was invested in this, it had to go well.

“Kanjigar’s amulet is not meant for human hands. You are once again playing with things you don’t understand.” Thor made the things on the worktable jump with a fist against it  and the amulet jingled, attracting the god’s eyes.

So Thor had seen the magic thingy. How perfect.

“You are right!” Tony said placatingly. “I’m just studying it, to understand it! A friend from the museum lent it to me.”

“It must be taken to Asgard…”

“No.” Tony said decisively.

“Stark…” Thor rumbled, and with that chest and the thunder thing, it was quite impressive.

“No, listen to me. It is not working. I’ve been told this amulet was made on Earth by Earth magic, so Asgard has no right to take it from us. I also told you that it is not mine. It was leant to me, I have to give it back.” Tony was being rational, he had his reasons, as most of the time…

“You have the means to make it yours, Stark, I’m no fool.” He extended his hand. “Give it to us in good faith and this discussion can end here.”

“No can do.” Tony crossed his arms. “I’m not going to acquire a relic I have not been able to make work or properly study, just to hand it to you and remain empty-handed. And just because you still think that us lowly humans can’t understand all your fancy science. Jane was right when she left you.”

“Stark! That amulet is dangerous! YOU are dangerous around that amulet. And you are speaking of things you don’t understand.” Thor was close to losing his patience.

“Again with the not understanding…” Stark mumbled. “Look, you Asgardians just think you are the supreme species, which is pretty funny, since of all the races I’ve seen, only humans are smaller than you.”

“We are not supreme, we are not gods, but we are the protectors, Stark, which is the reason why I must take this…”

“Hey, hey, big guy, hands off. Look, we are friends, aren’t we? How about a friendly wager?”

Thor just jumped to grab the amulet. Tony was faster, he threw the amulet into one of his suits. Thor lounged after it.

“Jarvis, you know what to do. Random coordinates, launch, land and turn of the gps.”

Thor contemplated how three suits closed and jumped to the air. He was about to follow them, but the suits flew in a disorienting shell game and went in three different directions.

Thor gave him the stink eye.

“Ok, then, it will have to be an _unfriendly_ wager. What do you say?”

“I’m listening.” Thor gritted his teeth.

“I’m the most eligible bachelor of Midgard. So, it shouldn’t be too hard to convince the fairest maiden of Asgard, or should I say New Asgard, to marry me: Freja, right, Jarvis?” Tony smirked. “Or are humans goats to your people, unworthy of a marriage with a god, even after humans gave you the land to rebuild?”

After a pregnant pause, Tony just went for broke. “Jane was right” with a widening of his smirk.

“And if I do this, you’ll hand over the amulet?” Thor said with a frown the size of the Mariana trench.

“And I’ll throw in the toy of the kiddies’ menu to the bargain if you like. The marriage can be rescinded afterwards, I just want to prove that you all think of yourselves as gods even if you won’t admit it. You’ll officiate it, make it Aesir instead of human. A human wedding would mean less than a pinkie promise to her, I’m sure.”

“A fasting of hands?”

“That’s the thing.”

“I’ll be back.” Thor rumbled again before leaving.

“Sayonara, baby.” Tony waved.

 

***

 

“AND HE DARED TO ASK SPECIFICALLY FOR FREJA!”

“Forgive me for laughing, but the human is not wrong.”

It was never a promising start when one’s brother barged in with that kind of fury in his eyes.

“Not wrong, Loki?!” Exactly _that_ fury.

“You won’t find a single Aesir man or woman willing to marry that gnome halfling. In fact, you won’t find an Asgardian willing to marry any human, much less Freja, much less she and Stark.” Loki didn’t let his brother start a rant again. “And it is because whatever Odin said in my trial, all of Asgard knows its superiority: Asgard, the land of the gods. It was a terrible deal and you only accepted because he mentioned Jane or even you would have seen how impossible it was.”

Thor just paced.

“You might be right.”

“What did I just hear?”

“I must get that artefact back.”

“No, I don’t think that’s what I heard. And it is an amulet, not an artefact.”

“If I don’t, another human might find it.”

“And use it as jewellery! Thor, that amulet is useless for most creatures. It is one of the many ‘the chosen one’ it will not have any value in our hands and if the chosen… You are not listening.”

“We must contain it in the vaults of Asgard! It is dangerous!”

“I resign, counselling you is like counselling a brick wall. For all you care I might suggest that you shave that beard of yours and we could repeat that time we had to get your hammer back.” Loki huffed, elbows on his knees, hands on his face and tired expression.

Thor stopped pacing and Loki looked at him irritated.

“What? You want a repeat of ‘get help’ but I don’t get a repeat of ‘I do’? You are no fun, brother.”

“He knows my face, but…”

Loki looked for a second intrigued and at Thor’s look, appalled.

“No, Thor. I won’t. Don’t make me.”

Thor only grinned. Norns, Thor was an idiot if he really thought he could force Loki to do anything.

 

***

 

“A DEAL IS A DEAL, STARK!”

“Indeed, it is, sparkles!”

It was never a promising start when Thor got things to go his way this easily. Everything had gone smoothly. Loki had showed up in the most beautiful white dress, Tony had said his bows, smiling all the time and completely taken by the beauty of Loki's disguise. Too easy.

Tony threw the amulet at Thor and he caught it. It was dull, not the blue shine described by the ancient legends of trolls.

“What is this foolery?”

“I told you I could not make it work. I think it is a dupe or a prototype or something.”

“This is not the amulet, this is outrageous.”

“Oh, brother, it is not like we gave him Freja either.” Loki said, changing back from the fair Freja into himself.

Thor looked at Tony, slightly worried of his reaction to the trickery.

“No, you gave me something so much better.”

Loki only chuckled and looked at how Thor frantically turned the book where both had had to sign. There it was “Tony Edward Stark, Iron Man and Loki Laufeyson, Trickster” written down, unmistakeable. The wedding wouldn’t have been real if he had signed with a fake name. Why? He looked into his brother’s eyes.

“This kind of union is powerful, if done with the right purpose in mind, it grants a long life, luck, happiness and power. I needed your permission for this bond, brother. And you wouldn’t have given it if it was Stark and I.”

“But, I’m your brother, and this is not right… This is not…” Thor turned to look at Stark with a mixture of disbelief and anger.

“Don’t look at me, Mr. ‘Playing with things you don’t understand’. You would have patronized me for so long that we’d have had to officiate the wedding at the geriatric.” Tony tucked himself under Loki’s chin and hugged them closer. “Thank you for the fake amulet, darling.”

Definitely not a promising start.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this art [here.](http://sweetbat.lofter.com/post/1e0e5e44_11f4a21c)


End file.
